My Dirty Little Secret: My Fiancé
by Amber Akasha
Summary: Inspired by Dirty Little Secret, by The All-American Rejects. Harry has a dirty little secret...light Ginny!bashing, AU


Title: My Dirty Little Secret (My Fiancé)

Summary: Inspired by Dirty Little Secret, by The All-American Rejects. Harry has a dirty little secret... **light Ginny!bashing, AU**

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I do not do this for profit. yadayadayada...

During my ten-minute-break I prompted myself to write something inspired by Dirty Little Secret, by The All-American Rejects. They hold up cards in the video, and they gave me several music video of the song is based on the PostSecret project, where people share their secrets on postcards. These cards are sent anonymously to the project, and some are posted on the PostSecret website. The video shows a montage of people holding up PostSecret postcards, which reveal a range of fears, embarrassment, love, deception, sadness and wishes. During the video, The All-American Rejects perform "Dirty Little Secret", cutting to clips of the people holding up their secrets. **[100 Thanks to .1994 who told me about the PostSecret Project!]** In the following dabble, the prompt is in bolds.

Hope you enjoy it!

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**Sometimes I think my fiancé isn't the one.**

.**  
**

Wouldn't you?

.

Some mornings I wake up to see her lying beside me on our bed, and I can barely stop myself from running away.

She paints a sweet, peaceful image; her fiery red hair cascading down onto the bed, spread around her like a halo; the pale, perfect expanse of skin that begs your caress; her closed eyes, short, dark lashes, the scattering of freckles over her little button nose. Small, round breasts; slim, inviting waist; long, athletic-looking legs, ending in delicate feet, red-painted nails.

.

And that's exactly the problem. Her skin is too smooth, completely free of scars. Young, innocent, unmarked. There's no worried frown on her while she sleeps, unperturbed by the sacrifices of war. And if her eyes were to be open, you'd see there are no shadows in them, no dark knowledge, no strain at all.

.

How can I share my life, my soul, with such a childish being? I feel like my soul is already a couple centuries old, and hers... hers is not. She is guileless, blind to the pains of war, of battle, of the last shreds of innocence we had to give up to Voldemort. She has led a life that, while not sheltered, wasn't mine either; she hasn't known torture, pain and death as intimately as I have. She hasn't killed. Her hands were never covered in blood.

It was kind of ironic -that me, all by myself am the only one to blame for the distance between us. I had been the one, after all, to protect her from war, to keep her unknowing.

.

Where do our worlds meet?

.

The only thing we have in common anymore is the Weasley family.

The only thing keeping me here is the pain me leaving would cause them.

This would break them.

I don't want to cause more pain, more grief.

.

And when she wakes, and smiles at me, I can almost pretend she makes me happy.

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You can check how I'm doing with my fics on my profile. Cheers!

**I've gotten a lot of reviews bashing this fic because Ginny did suffer. In reply to them -as many are anonymous and therefore I can't answer them in private:**

1) If you read this fic you'll notice it's not exactly cannon, and from the start makes it evident that Harry was more involved in the war than he was in cannon.

2) This is a piece written from Harry's viewpoint, tainted by his perspective and his feelings in that moment. If you have never thought irrationally, you should probably get yourself checked. That's not normal.

3) I did warn there'd be Ginny-bashing. I'm not forcing you to read, so I don't understand why you would decide to read something you know you will not like or agree with.

3)While this is not cannon, I think it could be argued that it could fit cannon. I'm only saying this because otherwise it sounds like I'm hiding behind the idea that in my version it's different, but I honestly think it could work in Rowling's world too.

My point is that while Ginny was possessed during her first year, she doesn't act more mature or different because of that in the following books. I can only assume she has no recollection of the time she was possessed, because otherwise her attitude would have -should have- been affected. One could argue that a normal person would have been affected, but I'm not going to get into the discussion on whether it is shoddy character development or not. She is often described as strong, but if you look at how Ginny _acts_ in the following books it's hard to see; must have missed her strong personality between her trying to get Harry jealous and blushing at him. On the possession, Mr. Weasley did warn her against the diary, which most people choose to ignore, and although that doesn't make it her fault she should have known better than to trust it. Even Harry was suspicious of it, and he didn't grow up hearing about the dangers of the wizarding world. She did survive the Carrows, along with most of the school, but it's still nothing compared to what Harry went through. I'm sorry, but cannon Harry should have been so badly scarred, emotionally, that a relationship seems out of the question. I'm not saying that, out of everybody in that age group who could have been Harry's girlfriend Ginny is not the one who's suffered the most, I'm saying it still doesn't compare.

**Now, if there's something about the way the story is written, or the way Harry's thoughts flow **(maybe there is an inconsistency, or his voice changes over the fic, or something like that)** then I'll be very happy to receive your critique**, since it'll help me improve both the story and my writing. But please quit with the Ginny-is-wonderful arguments. It's a pointless debate.


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